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The New Lowdown

by House of the Black Gardenia

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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Gatefold card digipak with original artwork by Dan Underwood and pullout booklet with photographs, lyrics and liner notes.

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  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Limited edition gatefold LP featuring original cover art by Dan Underwood. Printed sleeve with lyrics, photographs and liner notes.

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1.
All the most wonderful pleasures in life Seem strange - even frightening - at first So don’t be afraid to try something new When you want to quench your thirst She was working as a waitress in a teahouse She asked me, what was my brew? But she laughed at me when I asked for coffee - and said, “I’ll choose for you!” Our eyes met through the steam of the samovar Ochi Chornya had me under her spell And that taste, at first so unfamiliar - now the taste I love so well It's Orange Pekoe (at first I didn’t like it) It's China Keemun (now it’s just my cup) It's Lapsang Souchong (now I love it) It's Formosa Oolong (can’t get enough) 6000 miles across snow-covered steppes Through Mongolia and Uzbekistan Gave a taste as dark as her eyes to that Russian Caravan My fate was written in the tea leaves When I laid down in her velvet den Once you drink from that cup - you’re never the same again!
2.
My man died last night, my heart is broken in two Now they’re coming for me so please hear what I’m telling you Wasn’t cold-blooded murder, ‘cause I loved him so In the heat of passion I knew that I couldn’t let him go My man died last night, my heart is broken in two Now they’re coming for me so please hear what I’m telling you Wasn’t cold-blooded murder, ‘cause I loved him to death Wrapped my hair round his throat, watched him draw his last breath I know my soul cannot be saved Putting that man in his grave But it’s love, love alone told my head and my hand to behave My man died last night, now I’ll never be free When he’s under the soil, what will become of me? Wasn’t cold-blooded murder, ‘cause I loved that man Soon we’ll be together, this silver dagger just fits my hand I know my soul cannot be saved Putting that man in his grave But it’s love, love alone told my head and my hand to behave
3.
When night falls I’m alone with the bones Creeping Creeping in the dark around the tombstones When the moon gets high I’m ready to dig down low When I hear the ringing of the bell With my spade by my side I’m ready to dig down deep ‘Cos here in this boneyard Some are dead dead dead and some are just asleep When they open their eyes They’ll get a nasty surprise That’s when they’ll start ringing the bell Every lover lost Might be a lover found They took away my love They laid him in the cold cold ground So I’ll wait right here Til I hear that sound ‘Cos tonight he might be ringing that bell Whoa-ho. Whoa-ha-ho-ho Workin’ on the graveyard shift
4.
Big Big Man 04:00
I just want your attention, want y’all to look at me I’m the greatest - I’m the richest - everyone agrees So let me get on top - to where a rich old white man should be ‘Cos I’m a big big man Might have tiny little paws but I’ve got great big hair And I’ve got it where it counts, that’s why there’s room to spare In my great big suits - might not be debonaire But I’m a big big man You can see that California orange is my preferred hue So I don’t care about skin colour, ‘long as you bleed red white and blue ‘Cos if you love your country, you must love me - that’ll do For this big big man When it’s cold in the night, when I turn out the light I think of my big papa bear Wish he could see what I’ve done, see what I’ve become Wish I knew my daddy cared Don’t listen to those nasty women, putting me down Sayin’ I’m stupid, pig-headed, a narcissist, a clown They’re only jealous and bitter ‘cos I’m wearing the crown And I’m the big big man Gold, silver, cars, houses, diamond rings Even jobs and security, I’ll promise you anything You can have whatever you want if you’ll just let me play king And be the big big man Hell, I don’t care about your issues, I just want your praise Want you to shower me with it like golden rain But if you try to criticise me, let me warn you again I’m the big big man When it’s cold in the night, when I turn out the light I think of my big papa bear Wish he could see what I’ve done, see what I’ve become Wish I knew my daddy cared When the other men come face me, I’ll just puff up my chest I’m in charge here, don’t you know I won this contest? You put my finger on your button, why shouldn’t I press? I’m the big big man
5.
Well she ain't got no (yes she does) Oh no she don't (yes she does) I'm satisfied with my girl And she don't wear no (yes she does) Oh no she don't (yes she does) I'm satisfied with my girl She got big blue eyes, ruby lips And a dimple chin Golden hair, lovely shape Oh what a darlin’ she has been Will she let me (no she won't) Yes she will (no she won't) I'm satisfied with my girl Well she ain't got no (yes she does) Oh no she don't (yes she does) I'm satisfied with my girl And she don't wear no (yes she does) Oh no she don't (yes she does) I'm satisfied with my girl
6.
When we first got talkin’, we seemed to get along just fine When we first got talkin’, we seemed to get along just fine So when you asked for my number I thought you’d like a piece of my mind Oh but wait a minute baby, what’s this you’re sendin’ me? Excuse me fella, but what’s this you’re sendin’ me? That’s a low resolution and that sure ain’t your face I see Got those picture message blues Baby where’s the harm? A picture’s worth a thousand words Usually works a charm... Thought you’d get lucky but now your chance is sunk Had high hopes about you but now your chance is sunk Call me old-fashioned but I ain’t ready to see your junk So if I’ve only just met you, don’t misread my signs If we just got acquainted, don’t misread those signs Don’t show me yours or you sure as hell ain’t gonna see mine!
7.
Ain’t it hard, ain’t it hard, ain’t it hard? Ain’t it hard, ain’t it hard, ain’t it hard? Ain’t it hard when you love somebody who don’t love you? Tell me baby, what a man to do? Some folk say, watch out for yourself Some say, have a drink, it’s good for your health Some say, you got to go out, and use someone else Ain’t it a mean old world to live in by yourself? Some folk say, gotta go down the railroad track Some say, you gotta move on, don’t never turn back Well I see, I see my 2:19 train, comin’ smokin’ black And I don’t know whether to take a step forward or take one back (let’s take a walk now) Well you never miss your water till your well run dry Well you never miss your water till your well run dry Well I never missed that woman till the day she made me cry And I’m gonna love her, till the day I die Oh brothers, won’t you listen to me? Oh brothers, won’t you listen to me? I’m as down, down, as a downbound man can be If you think you love a woman, you better let her be Ain’t it hard, ain’t it hard, ain’t it hard? Ain’t it hard, ain’t it hard, ain’t it hard? Ain’t it hard, when you love, somebody who don’t love you? Tell me baby, what a man to do?
8.
Won’t let you be left there, pulling your curls Watching the boys… asking all of the girls Climb on my shoes, we’ll take over the floor If you stop loving yourself I’ll love you more Can’t point your toes, or flick your hair Don’t do what the others do, I don’t care The world is my oyster And you are my pearl Don’t care for the others, ‘cause you’re my girl Don’t need to sit with those who don’t make room Their moment in the sun, will be gone soon Your light will outshine theirs, of that I’m sure If you stop loving yourself I’ll love you more Don’t paint your nails, or dye your hair You’re not like the other girls and I don’t care The world is my oyster And you are my pearl You’re one in a million, ‘cause you’re my girl Stand out, you stand alone, might not seem fair It’s hard to learn... it’s hard to bear But to me you’re everything, the rest I can ignore If you stop loving yourself I’ll love you more Your eyes aren’t blue, your skin ain’t fair Don’t look like the other girls, I don’t care The world is my oyster And you are my pearl You’re one in a million … worth more than a million You’re one in a million And you’re my girl
9.
Tell Liza ‘bout me But honey don’t be truthful Oh tell her I’m youthful Handsome and wise What Liza don’t know Can’t hurt her none So don’t mention the bourbon And my wand’rin’ eyes I want that gal to know ‘bout my dreams, hopes and fears I just don’t think she needs to know where I’ve been these last few years Tell Liza ‘bout me Don’t mention my affliction Make it a fine work of fiction Tell Liza ‘bout me Tell Liza ‘bout me And the message you’re sendin’ Can have a fairytale ending If you make it so Take a few things out Keep a little bit of mystery A little rewrite of history Is all she needs to know Want that gal to know that my feelings are sincere So just tell her the story that we both want her to hear Tell Liza ‘bout me And it might turn out well Only time will tell Tell Liza ‘bout me
10.
Viper Mad 05:10
Just viper mad, must have my fun I'm never sad, it can’t be done The people are talking, but I don’t care I'm twenty one, far from done, I’ve just begun So wrap your chops ‘round this stick of tea Come on blow this gage and get high with me Good tea is my weakness, I know it's bad It sends me gate and I can’t wait, I'm viper mad
11.
Showgirl 04:17
She was a shy girl… But she was beautiful And he wanted to show her off He bought her dresses… Bought her high-heeled shoes ‘Cause he loved to see her take them off You’ve got talent he told her, as he was kissing her shoulder You shouldn’t waste it all on me You could be up on a stage, with your name in lights You are something the world should see Go girl, become a showgirl, oh girl don’t say no Go girl, become a showgirl, what girl could say no She was a hit. Became a pin-up. With a devoted legion of fans Poor boys and princes and playboys and priests But she had eyes for just one man Every night when he knew that he was taking her home He was the envy of all his friends But deep down inside she knew that it wasn’t right She vowed that she would make amends He found out too late, when he found that note She hated what she had become Gonna give myself to God, the only man I can trust I have to pay for what I’ve done Go girl, you’re still a showgirl, oh girl don’t say no Oh girl, you ain’t a showgirl, so girl just say no The sisters took her in, she repented her sins No more would she be part of the world of men But the next little girl had wandered into his world He would start all over again Go girl, become a showgirl, oh girl don’t say no Go girl, become a showgirl, what girl could say no
12.
Come on honey let’s go Come on honey let’s go If you treat me right we’ll swing all night But baby don’t you tear my clothes Baby let’s break em down Baby let’s break em down We’ll get drunk and clown and truck on down But baby don’t you tear my clothes Baby you can hear my cry Baby you can hear my plea We can push and pull, all night long But baby don’t you tear my clothes Baby you can wear my pants Wear my shoes and hose You can strut your stuff, ‘cause everything goes But baby don’t you tear my clothes
13.
Sittin on a million Sittin on it every day Can’t make no money givin’ your stuff away Why don’t you do now Like those millionaires do Put your stuff on the market and make a million too Fay’s a betting woman She bets on every hand She’s trickin’ mother for you everywhere she lands Why don’t you do now Like the millionaires do Put your stuff on the market and make a million too May’s a good-lookin’ frail She lives out by the jail On her back, you know she got hot stuff for sale Why don’t you do now Like the millionaires do Put your stuff on the market and make a million too

about

The debut album from Newcastle-based nine-piece House of the Black Gardenia is a heady brew of 1920s jazz and blues rarities and authentic original compositions flavoured with the macabre and the mischievous.

credits

released October 30, 2020

Neil Hopper (string bass, sousaphone, washboard)
Elise Rana (vocals)
Kit Haigh (drums, percussion, guitar, vocals)
Michael Littlefield (guitar, banjo, vocals)
Keith Robinson (tenor sax, alto sax, clarinet, flute)
David 'Showtime' Gray (trombone)
Michael Lamb (trumpet)
Katja Roberts (violin)
Ben Imrye (piano, vocals)

Guest player - Kieran Parnaby (trombone on Big Big Man, Ain't It Hard, Dead Man Calypso and Graveyard Shift)

All arrangements by Neil Hopper
Recorded by Ian Stephenson at Simpson Street Studios, Thropton, Northumberland, UK
Mixed by Kit Haigh at Green Croft on the Wall

Original Artwork by Dan Underwood
Photography by Kayla Wren

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House of the Black Gardenia Newcastle Upon Tyne, UK

Viper jazz, dirty blues and infectious swing rhythms more potent than a bathtub full of bootleg gin. Born of the desire to get their city's dancefloors swinging to the lesser-known roots music of the 1920s and '30s, House of the Black Gardenia brings together the new generation of Newcastle's jazz, blues and swing scene for a raucous revival of old-fashioned good times. ... more

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